forgive.

THE LAST POST

2010-11-13T23:27:00.003+11:00

i'm out.

there's supposed to be freedom
but reality is always never the way its supposed to be

when i have to censor what i say on this because of some people,
there's really not much point in writing.

i'll find some other way.

bye.

a way out

2010-11-01T23:55:00.002+11:00

trying to find a way out.

somehow everybody's got a way out. transfering to another uni, or just taking the associate degree and just RUNNING.

i want to do that to.

2010-10-29T02:07:00.003+11:00

maybe tomorrow, i'll have courage

school is busy.
i somewhat have a life.

i hope i can find something

judgement.

2010-10-12T16:38:00.004+11:00

kristy was telling me on sunday that there was a video of 2 ACJC girls going at it in the school toilet. apparently her boyfriend was trying to locate the video.

I wondered how long it would take straits times to publish the story... i just read it and its currently the most popular article on the straits times website.

The media doesn't really give schools like the ACS family or MGS and other 'elite' schools a break. seriously, if this was from Millenia Institute or some other lower ranking JC, i highly doubt the story would be published. And then there's the 'inappropriate behaviour' complaint from a teacher in ACS article. Really Straits Times? its newsworthy?

I recently went for a job interview with a hospitality company in Singapore. Never mind my almost finishing a degree in hospitality[1 year left!!!!], never mind my trinity cert. One of the first things the interviewer asked was 'you're an MG girl ah?'

[face palm]. really?

And when going for our O level oral exam, teachers warned us that examiners' expectations would be higher because of the school's repuation.

Maybe its somewhat a compliment. that people expect more out of you purely because of the school that you come from. but its also a form of judgement. thank goodness in Australia, i've managed to escape that somewhat. but then i have to face another form of judgement altogether: being Asian.

I guess you can't escape being labelled and people treating you differently purely because of your heritage, your culture, your skin colour or your country of origin. but you can certaintly try to prove people wrong (in a good way) and surprise people.

Ah well. back to doing my business plan and doing bLaw.

2 more months till christmas!
3 more months to CNY'11.
i cannot wait >< !!!

time turner

2010-10-04T18:47:00.001+11:00

"i like her because she sings to me. but mostly because i sing to her."

Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Vanilla Twilight
-Owl City

I saw this on ebay, i think it would make a damn nice necklace, albiet a REALLY expensive one. I mean, really, how many people can say they own a TIME TURNER? yeah, from harry potter. WOOHOO.

So i traced it down to the original wesite that sells it( The Noble Collection):
This is the $49 version:

this is the $125 version(s): [Gold and Sterling silver]

being a student of very little money, i hunted down and bought this $15 version:

LIFE SUCKS. but i’m still happy-ish. at least i have something to put on my christmas list. 2 and a bit more months till christmas!!! XD

closer

2010-10-01T22:39:00.002+10:00

there are certain people on this planet worth knowing

and considering them as friends.

they don't have to know you inside out
to provide you with strength

neither do they have to have similar interests
to offer their opinion

but just knowing that they care for you as you do for them

can be just enough to sustain you when you really need it.

cold turkey

2010-09-29T19:50:00.002+10:00

i'm shivering
craving for it
it fucking hurts.

i'm nearly at the point where i'll do anything to get it.
nearly.

nobody told me quitting would be this hard

what do I do now?

2010-09-26T15:12:00.002+10:00

life question i've only been able to answer recently:
what to do with a breakup?

for centuries, (at the risk of sounding cheesy) a broken heart has inspired many achievements, works and wonders. there's the taj mahal, built in memory of an emperor's wife. there's the hundreds of girls and guys dieting and working out to prove that they're doing better than ever before. there's some of the best music albums produced after a breakup or a divorce. i'm sure there's lots more examples, books, paintings, etc.

so, what do I do now?

logically speaking, as a writer, this should be one of the best times to write. All the emotions waiting to overflow onto paper and into words. but if i were to write something now, it will probably sound like a mixture of pop song choruses. so i refrain.

i know of a musician who purposely makes herself miserable in order to compose something beautiful. the irony. it is so much more interesting when a work is twistingly tormented rather than sunshine and rainbows.

to be honest though, all i feel like doing is curling up in bed and sleeping. in my sleep, i do not feel pain, i don't have to remember that i cannot have the person i want. in my sleep, it is mostly dreamless. but then there's that moment before i wake up, that few seconds that reality seeps into your brain.

then everything returns.

so then I get up and think
what do I do now?

back. again.

2010-09-22T20:43:00.002+10:00

back from my september hols trip!
3rd day of uni today and i've already got a serious list of stuff to do. not fun.

the trip was ok. it was nice sightseeing but it really drained me to race across the bloody country.

will post the photos and post when i have free time (not any time soon)

yay yay yay

2010-08-30T01:05:00.002+10:00

IMMA HAPPY PERSON.

XD

in SG now, with highlighted hair(thank you mummy!) and a full tummy. :D

exams are over, and i went to melbourne to visit the elginians+frequent visitors. thank you guys so much for the food and esp to melody for letting me stay at verve! <3 you're a really good hostess & cook!

got alot of things to do in sg but i'm happy doing them
YAY

will most likely post a few photos after i come back from rome & london. :D

2010-08-22T22:14:00.001+10:00

so near yet so far

disconnect

2010-08-19T00:48:00.002+10:00

hurts like shit.

so fucking painful
for once
i want to allow myself

to be weak

to just let myself be human

and cry
and just be properly miserable
wallow in self pity and chocolate

but there's studying to be done
and exams to be taken

so.
i have to stay sane
and strong

letting go

2010-08-18T13:57:00.003+10:00

the most common grip kids have with their parents is that
they don't realise we're growing up

of course when a 10 year old says that mournfully to your face, the intial reaction is to supress a laugh then go on to kindly explain that parents need time.

but when a bunch of 20 years olds gather round a table and compete for the title of 'the one with the most smothering mother/strictest father' with increasingly funnier ancedotes, it gets you to wonder.

parents are our... well, parents. they mother you, they parent you, and certainly scold the crap out of you. but they have as much to learn as we do.

and the struggle is always that parents don't seem to realise we've grown up. They certainly expect the most out of you, they trust that you are big enough to do the small things on your own. they expect you to maintain your grades, to make your bed and do your laundry and survive. but when it comes to realising that the 20 year old kid is no longer that cute little thing that always depended on them, their brain shuts down.
like its the biggest denial they will ever trick themselves into.

but that's not my point.
my point is that for 20 years, we're essentially parasites, feeding off their bank accounts and destroying any chance they have at being cool. but somehow they love us even more. like stockholm's syndrome or something.
and suddenly within a span of a few months, they are expected to tell the kids to trot off and don't bother us.
its hard, we know. to allow us to do that is one thing, to believe that they should do that is another.
so in recognition of that, for allowing me to trot off to another continent and survive calling me once a week, thank you mum & dad.

thanks for allowing me to live my life.
thanks for letting me go and realising that i'm 19 years old and therefore should not be treated like a 9 year old.
thanks to dad for slipping me an extra $100 before i go off so that i have the cash to go buy supper.
thanks to mum for spoiling me like crap when i come back to sg
thanks for allowing me to make my own choices. even if you don't support it, you still say you do (i know mum's still secretly hoping that i'll go into commerce.)

so... mum, can my curfew be extended?
i've got to be the only 2nd year uni student with a 11 pm curfew in singapore.
come on...
please?

ROYAL FLUSH

2010-08-17T22:15:00.002+10:00

ONE OF MY LIFE GOALS IS COMPLETE!!!

i got a high royal flush ><

A, K, Q, J, 10 and in a heart suite :D

although it was during 3 person taidi (with Nat and Dan, trying to study for marketing) i'm still happy!

next goal: 2, A, K, Q, J. IN SPADES!!!

inception

2010-08-16T21:22:00.003+10:00

i just realised something about Inception

The scene when Ariadne & Arthur kissed.

quick give me a kiss
they're still looking
yeah, it was worth a shot

the double meaning behind 'it was worth a shot'. like the kiss as a distraction and to get ariadne interested ><

I LOVE FIGURING STUFF LIKE THIS OUT

university

2010-08-16T13:44:00.002+10:00

You know how they try to advertise University as a place of vibrant learning, of meeting new people from different countries, of a place that accepts you as you are?

BULLSHIT.

it is a place that is interested in one thing, and one thing only
MONEY

they squeeze money out of domestic students & the government, while squeezing even more out of international students and donors. They do not care about your welfare unless you are protesting for it, which may hurt the reputation and therefore may hurt the $$$.

i just got informed by accounts that I am being charged $733 for a 2 day course in 'contemporary leadership'. WTF.
i wonder what they will teach us that THE PAST 3 COURSES OF VARIOUS 'LEADERSHIP' SHIT COULDN'T?!?!?!?!

bloody hell, i'm getting a headache thinking about it.

and the shit about meeting different people from different countries? how well can you know someone that doesn't speak english well? people in an unfamiliar situation will naturally cling on to what's familiar. eg overseas students in another country will naturally make friends with people from their country/speak the same language.

i have learnt cantonese and my mandarin has improved since i came to ozzie. in contrast, i still can't master the aussie way of saying G'day mate.

its not being racist. people will, by instinct, try to find familiarity in strange surroundings.

as for being a place that accepts your quirks.
yeah, right. people will still gossip and label you weird or a nerd or a blonde or something and that's the way its going to be for the rest of your life.

disillusioned much?

back to studying.

i love swotvac. so fun.

soft boiled eggs

2010-08-10T01:21:00.002+10:00

after my stomach rumbled for the fifth time in an hour, i gave up trying to resist.

all i have in my room is indomie, sweets, chocolate and 3 eggs.

but thankfully for me, my tastebuds were craving soft boiled eggs!

so i googled how to make those runny soft boiled eggs that is absolute <3
and apparently you just have to boil it for exactly 3 mins and dunk it in cold water after.

NOT SO SIMPLE.
its soft boiled egg alright but its different, the yolk is too raw for my liking and the egg white alternates between clumpy and transparent.

apparently in ya kun, they are kept in water at 70-ish degrees to cook.

the perfection...
anyway
i settled for some ice cream
can't go wrong with that.

perks of hotels ^^

2010-08-09T02:51:00.002+10:00

i absolutely love my friends who work in hotels

since i'm too lazy to get off my bum and find a job in a hotel,

i get the side perks

wenhao has brought me like 10 issues of newsweek & time. NICE NEW ONES :D

and bell got me a magazine(which had a review of tetsuya's!!!!) and let me look at the employee's rates at the hotel she works at :D
which is really kewl.

the other time i met johannes and kimmy, who were staying at the hotel johannes was working at. and we were waited on hand and foot at the lounge. free peanuts too :D

the interesting stories is what i'm in this industry for.

a few people had celebs staying at their hotels during their industry training.

according to james, m.c. hammer is really nice. which according to him, is really weird considering he has HUGE bodyguards and probably doesn't need to be nice. but he is. and that's always nice to know.

and a guest speaker told us about the time a celeb, *name shall be protected* , stayed there and asked for a really exotic type of sausage.
problem? it was 4 am in london.
ENTER: THE concierge(they are the bomb. the really good ones can get you anything. ANYTHING. anytime. seriously. our lecturer was telling us that they could probably get you tickets to a sold out concert. IF you're willing to pay)
anyway. the concierge had to call this butcher to open his shop.
which was halfway across london.
so the guest speaker had to drive there
come back
with the sausages
and ask the chef to cook it.

you would think huge tip like $100

nope. a 'thank you!' *closes door*

its amazing the stories that come. there's so many of them. i wish i could properly express them in some humorous witty way like matt preston or anthony bourdain's kitchen confidential

but i'm just a waitress who blogs.

relief

2010-08-07T18:07:00.003+10:00

I CAN FINALLY BREATHE.

assignments are mostly over! with the exception of marketing...

and final exams are about to start

it feels good :D

time to start cleaning up my room
and prepare for the final battle
><

GPA of 3.8 here i come

sometimes.

2010-08-04T19:38:00.004+10:00

sometimes,

when you need strength, you try to find it in various places
if taking a break and surfing the net doesn't help,

then there's talking to friends online. and if that doesn't work,
listen to music and zone out for awhile or a nap. but if you still can't

there's calling a friend. or a few. and just talk to them
but then you find yourself still worn out.

and then your best friends and family. they make you laugh for awhile, smile. wish you were home. and the thought of 20 more days till you're home!

but it seems today, no one gets you. your weariness.
and you look inside yourself and all you see is a well
of blackness. of darkness. an empty well. and you know you're nearly rock bottom.

you've been there before. and its so tempting to let yourself slide to that deep dark place, so easy. to just give up.

then there's nothing to do

but to fall to your knees
and turn to God. and seek solace in him.

and hopefully find in him what you've needed. strength. courage. a fighting chance
but when you've finished praying.
open your eyes. and stare at the four walls that surround you

you still miss what you've been trying so hard to ignore
and you know your source of strength is gone.

that realisation is just enough to push you over the edge,

down
down
down
that dark hole.

2010-07-30T02:31:00.001+10:00

one day at a time.

a bear of little brain

2010-07-27T16:15:00.001+10:00

from one of the wisest characters i know:

“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart.. I’ll always be with you.”

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”

- winnie the pooh

i’m turning 19 tomorrow and i’m still quoting winnie the pooh. :D i don’t know what the next year will bring but i hope it’ll be a good year

runaway

2010-07-27T03:00:00.002+10:00

i want so badly to run.
run away from this
run into nothingness

school work's pilling up
and i have officially no life
i just need to get through this whole pile of shit

hypothetical question:

if the next one month of your life had no consequences, what would you do?

shooting stars

2010-07-23T01:00:00.004+10:00

the beginning of the end. the end. and then a new beginning. and then it repeats.

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now

-airplane
B.O.B

i could really use a wish right now

things to do: week 6

2010-07-07T15:59:00.001+10:00

send off menu

~~finish off~~ start OB case study

be happy

ASA function marketing- contact world vision and discuss with Astin

wish tommy a happy birthday!

study for Rooms division mid term exam

~~chiong~~ carefully construct ENG essay plan

sort out my LIFE

tidy my room

talk to one stranger today

email mum my exam timetable

Construct survey for marketing

procrastinate all

of the above

AHAHAHAHA

2010-07-07T00:46:00.001+10:00

found something:

"after we were dismissed i stayed back in the AIRCONDITIONED classroom and chatted with the guys. was quite an interesting convo. they told me that manching has 6 pacs. cheehow says it's almost 8 pacs already."

- zhoudynasty.blogspot.com (one of bill's dunman high classmates). Jan 03, 2007

AHAHA. i couldn’t stop laughing after i read this. all the elgin people can attest to the fact that as of 2010, those 6pecs have disappeared and formed the united nations.

on a more serious note, he once showed me a photo of him struggling with his st john’s team and his shirt was being held up. clearly defined 6 pec in that photo. i remember thinking to myself ‘how come i got the downgraded version?”

goingonpointes

2010-07-05T01:48:00.002+10:00

i remembered while walking home why i chose the url for this blog

going on pointes

to go on pointe in ballet is to start using the block shoes, the one where you rest your weight on the very tip of your toes.

for me, after 9 years of doing ballet, pointe shoes was all that i could dream about. it marks a transition. its a sign that you're strong enough and willing to endure the pain. in life the equivalent would be the transition from child to adult, a slow process, painful.

and it seems that ever since i've started this blog, my life has kept on transforming. from an all girls' environment to a mixed JC, from singapore to melbourne, from melbourne to sydney, from studying to working, from friends to strangers and from strangers to confidants & close friends.

keeping turning the pages, i want to know what life will bring me.

singapore- exactly 6316km away

2010-06-29T22:18:00.001+10:00

it goes like this
the fourth the fifth
the minor fall
the major lift

there's a wooden post in icms that i used to stand next to when i felt homesick:

it gave me some sort of comfort. that just maybe, maybe, if i aligned my body exactly to the direction it was pointing at, and if i closed my eyes, that i would be home.

i have a ton of work, research and two deadlines within 12 hours. uni life. gotta love it.

i will never be a chef

2010-06-24T17:29:00.002+10:00

IMAGINATION.

i do not have what it takes to be a chef.

: (

off to rewrite my menu.

i've asked for help from 2 chefs, and both are reluctant to give me any. problem is this is SOUL BALL. soul food.
seriously, give me any other cuisine and i'll come up with it within a day. italian, spanish, chinese, japanese. but soul food, african american food? i have no idea.

oddly enough, chef decided that chicken salad wrapped in betel leaf was one of the better ones, as well as my pork belly. that's chinese food!!!

eff it. if you've got a singaporean head chef planning the menu...

well, let's just say i'm seriously contemplating putting prata there.

glitter in the air

2010-06-22T14:54:00.001+10:00

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?

It's only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn
The thunder before lightning, the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

It's only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run
The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames
Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

glitter in the air
-pink

ask yourself all of these questions
& sometimes, you don't need an answer

i think of all the things that have happened to me so far, and at the time, problems seemed so big, projects seemed to matter but now its just a memory, something you've grown stronger from.

imagine all of your life's major problems, they'll fade away into nothingness just like that time you didn't bring your textbook to a super strict teacher's class, or you and your best friend were quarrelling and now its nothing.

like a scar, it leaves small marks on your character, shaping you into a person.

imgfave

2010-06-21T22:11:00.001+10:00

i abit the slow when discovering websites.

i don’t know how long this has been up but i love love love looking at it :

http://imgfave.lg1x8z.simplecdn.net/popular

i love most of the pictures. i would love to print all of them out and wall paper my room with it, but the school printer’s quite sucky & doesn’t do the pictures justice so i’m happy just looking at them. :D

on a side note, don’t you think my font’s ampersand, the ‘&’, is exceptionally pretty? :D i should learn how to write my ‘&’ like that. mine’s a sucky normal ‘&’.

a small part of me will always miss you & try to love you

thoughts of the glutton in me

2010-06-21T01:32:00.003+10:00

YOU KNOW WHAT I MISS ABOUT MELBOURNE RIGHT NOW?!
besides the wonderful elgin/verve/cs/all-the-other-places people

THE FREAKIN FOOD

i miss the food

omg. i'm so hungry now. and i'm still thinking of ways to improve my menu for the upcoming function. SO, hungry me, searching for recipies = RAWR. TORTURE.

its difficult looking at food food and more food. the pictures are so alluring, its like food porn. now i know how the guys must feel in NS where porn is blocked and there are no girls and all they can do is stare at the lousy photo of their girlfriend.

i have red rock deli, tim tams and indomie in my room with me.

BUT MY TASTEBUDS DEMAND
the red spice road pork belly
mekong spring rolls
melody's jelly
hazel's chicken wings
my own portebello mushrooms in garlic butter(i do realise i can make this anywhere in the world but it tastes better when i'm cooking it and bill is trying to sneak some off the frying pan)

sigh
i'll have to settle for some indomie (at 2 am in the morning?! gasp! your weight!)
but jeff's fried indomie tastes much better

and i'm terrified

2010-06-19T18:50:00.003+10:00

Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost

As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late too pick up the value of my life

'russian roulette'

rihanna

slowly

2010-06-15T21:02:00.002+10:00

i think i'm slowly learning to find my happiness in sydney

its still a shit dorm that i'm living in. its still WAY more fun in melbourne.

but i'm learning to appreciate tiny things. a meal with people is still something to be treasured, having a laugh with classmates will still make you happy.

my mum and dad went off to turkey and syria to retrace the footsteps of paul or some other disciple. and my mum decided to stop in dubai after that. I WANT TO TAKE A HOLIDAY. preferable to some exotic destination. i haven't gone on holiday for 1 and a half years now. and by holiday i mean not melbourne/sydney/singapore.

i just got off the phone with my parents, both in an unsually good mood (probably because of the nice holiday they had) and my mum suggested going to rome, great barrier reef or japan in september. YAY. BUT if i go rome, i want to have savings to splurge in milan, great barrier reef- i have to learn to dive first and japan, well, i don't speak japanese and i still want to have money to spend on those kawaii stationery and clothes. I NEED CASH.

i'll think about that when the time comes.

until then, i've got to STUDY. and think of ways to get the cash i need so badly.

trying

2010-06-02T18:19:00.002+10:00

i do try to be a good person.

why is it so hard for me to open up?

i remember when making friends was the easiest thing in the world.
i remember when i wasn't so...

cold

surprise

2010-06-02T01:24:00.001+10:00

so basically, bill managed to delay me and distract me until we reached elgin street after eating dinner and going to borders to read. he tried turning the key but it was stuck (a common occurence) then asked me to try. when i opened the door, there was total darkness except for a light shinning in my face and everyone (15 of them) started singing happy birthday

=.="

even though they were singing happy birthday and it was a farewell thing, i was still very touched. only at that point in time did it strike me that i was going to leave all these wonderful people behind. and that knowledge was the 3rd worst feeling i had. i alternated between laughing and crying. there was supper that melody and chermaine had made (kaii helped- i know she’ll insist i put this in). and the barley with ginko nut and fu chok was so nice and melody’s famous jelly was there. and jeff had boiled chrysanthemum with rock sugar cause i had a sore throat. >.< i’m using a lot of my not usual emoticons here cause i was really damn touched.

there were 2 highpoints during the supper that i felt, well, like crying and laughing.

reading through the scrapbook and reading all the messages. and looking at my retarded photos.

jeff was looking for cups and all were dirty. so he took a cup and washed it in the sink and scooped directly from the chrysanthemum pot with the cup. then he handed it to me. i was shocked beyond words. its not that jeff is an unkind person or something. he fries indomie(yum) for us when we request it for lunch and he downloaded house m.d. for me. its just that he doesn’t show much emotion. and when he handed me that cup of chrysanthemum tea that he boiled and the cup that he washed, it made me want to cry. so i pretended to fake cry and he did the same and we both ended up laughing so much.

thank you: xian, hua & donk(who didn’t make it) for the messages. to debs, amy, grace, lin, kendrick and wai hoe, thanks for coming. to melody, chermaine and kaii, thanks for planning this and ensuring that i didn’t get suspicious and for cooking and making the scrapbook and decorating the place. thanks to ryan, jeff, chen, jia yang for the loan of elgin 270. thanks to bill for keeping me distracted.

thanks to everyone for making my wish of having a last meal&gathering come true. :D

day 4, term 5.

2010-06-02T00:45:00.001+10:00

i am determined to have my cake and eat it too.

day 4 in sydney, 198 days till the end of the academic year so that i can go home

got everything settled in. still require a hole puncher, a mechanical pencil, a small sink filter/drainer thingy and a hand towel. the room looks REALLY BARE without the stuffs i usually bring like my 2 posters, pooh and the stationery box. i managed to bring all my stuff in with 1 23.8 kg luggage, and 2 hand carries. AMAZING RIGHT. my room has a sink which i am grateful for and will attempt to wear contact lenses. yeowch.

melody and grace messaged me today and the guys called yesterday. i argued over the phone with ryan about how Catholics are classed under Christianity along with protestants. ITS LIKE CATHOLICS ARE A SUBSET OF CHRISTIANITY. GO READ WIKIPEDIA. OR THE BIBLE. OR SOMETHING. i’m pretty sure i’m right. anyway, its really expensive to debate over phone of theological matters. but its ok cause he never finishes his credit anyway. ahh. the arguing makes me feel like i’m back at elgin.

as for the smses from grace and melody, it didn’t make my blood pressure rocket but it also did make me feel like i’m missed. which is a very nice feeling :D

as for school life, i signed up to be the liason between the asian students association and the singaporean population here which is a grand total of 4. but there are events to be planned so :D may the force be with me(and my butchered mandarin)

goals for this term? my marks will be 75 or higher. and a gpa of 3.5. eat more fruits and be more consistent in studying. i think that’s about it. OH AND WORK LIKE SHIT. ok :D

met up with kristy, sean, denise & kevin here. sean gave a tour of uni of sydney and its FREAKIN BIG. like sprawling. twice the size of melb uni. and its so pretty :D i’ll definitely go back to take more nice shots of the quadrangle which is modelled after oxford and cambridge and its the oldest part of it. and the grass inside the quad is GREEN. its as green as artificial grass. its so nice. but the grass is off limits.

i’m trying to find the little happy things in sydney. its difficult. in melbourne, it just flows in abundance. so i’ll have to adjust and learn.

which brings me to the ‘thoughtful, deep and meaningful’ shit.

one of the most important and valuable lessons i learnt was how to be alone. sounds weird? i always had a group of friends in mg(sec school) to eat with, play with and stuff. but sec 2 came and there was nobody to fall back on. i had to slowly learn to go downstairs for recess and sit by myself and eat. and not to feel isolated just because i wasn’t good friends with anyone in my class. it isn’t easy. to have the roaring laughter and chatter surround you and you’re by yourself and you have to not feel down about that. but its very easy to sneak food to somewhere quiet and eat there in the peaceful silence. but to me, that’s the easy way out and you’ll never learn. its easy to be alone when its quiet.

so i will try to reach out more. to people, to my books, to God.

yet another hypothetical situation

2010-05-28T01:55:00.003+10:00

2 more days... :(

shall not emo, just had an awesome night with mel, kendrick, cherm, kaii, grace, debs and bill :D
when the photos are up on melody's fb, i shall steal them then write it properly with photos! :D

hypothetical situation:
(i was half awake, half asleep last night and i half dreamt that someone made me drink a bowl of soup that tasted of memories. don't ask how. and i entered a room and the following senario was presented to me)

you are presented with 2 choices:
[with the following givens: 1. THE ONE for you exists. he/she is THE ONE that is your true soulmate. 2. you have to choose a senario. there is no 'i want to continue with my normal life now'. take it that you have drunk the same soup my dream self has drunk.]

- you will be become very attractive. like 80% of girls/guys will see you and stare and go 'omg, there's my dream girl/guy. HOWEVER. your THE ONE will not love you, you will be good friends forever and ever and he/she will never ever like you

- you will remain the same. HOWEVER. your THE ONE will like you but circumstances will never permit the both of you to be together.

don't ask me how my brain can come up with this shit. damn good imagination right? sadly, i don't think i can come up with an alternate universe to write about and become bloody rich, like harry potter or percy jackson or artemis fowl. otherwise i wouldn't be studying hospitality. i would have already bought the hyatt brand. maybe i should come up with an alternate universe about hotels and how secrets can get trapped in the mirrors of the hotel... sounds like shit.

you know the sad thing?
i would choose the first option. i'm so shallow. but i think its better that the person doesn't like you rather than both of you cannot be together. i think you would become a very bitter and jaded person if its the 2nd option.

:_ (

2010-05-22T03:22:00.002+10:00

i've just emo-ed on a fb note.
and it sucks that i'm leaving this wonderful group of people
ryan once commented that the group of housemates is, in its own way, perfect

and the group is perfect, in its own dysfunctional, vulgar way.
there's people
to laugh at
to laugh with
to have heart to heart talks with
to gossip with
to cry in front of
to love
to play with
to share all the precious moments with

i wish i had taken more photos, to remind me of the small moments, the inside jokes, everything

i can't believe i'm being such a sap.
in a way, its more painful than leaving albert house
because even though we're not living together anymore,
its still a very strong bond that all of us share
and all those moments have strengthened it

and its so hard to leave behind

its not so fun being sick

2010-05-19T21:35:00.001+10:00

AH. winter

most people will recognise it by the crisp cold air brought by the winds, some will realise by the last of the leaves falling from the bare branches.

not me. for me, winter starts with a sore throat

not a major one, just a mild one that reminds you to eat a few more fruits and gives you an excuse to buy those delightful tasting honey and lemon strepsils. then it all snowballs. feeling lousy all over, cough, phlegm, ‘a weally stuffy dose’ and then coughing your guts out(quite literally). every year, i seriously consider buying a humidifier just so that i can breathe.

in 07 during a trip to the US, i had to be dosed on nasty chinese medicine, courtesy of my mum. i survived on soup, hot water and that. recovery time: 1 week

in 08, the night before my pyschology exam, kaii and cherm found me in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet bowl, pysch notes on my lap, with hot water running and fogging up the bathroom. i took redoxon (that orange fizzy tablet) with every mouthful.recovery time: 1 1/2 weeks

in 09, i was continuously sniffing a ceramic cup filled with hot water, even in lectures. took as many baths as i could. still stuck to normal icms food. recovery time: 2 weeks

my battle plan this year?

strepsils, chinese medicine, HOT liquid diet and as much sleep as i can get. let’s see if it works on my i-really-COUGH-want-to-COUGH-die

beautifully terrible

2010-05-18T22:36:00.001+10:00

all in its own way, all perfect.

100 years is one of my favourite songs. its probably the piano melody more than anything else. but every time i hear it, i am less the 15 years and more the 22.

i don’t want to be a murderer

i know saint peter won’t call my name

before its too late this could all disappear

and i don’t want to miss a thing

it doesn’t matter anyway, you know its just too little too late

Dear God

2010-05-07T02:37:00.001+10:00

i need a miracle

why do we have to struggle through life?

why can’t we be just born with knowing what we want and knowing how to get it? why can’t we have a freaking road map to life in our hands?

why do you have to let us decide?

and make us so

human

easter week. <3

2010-04-29T15:13:00.001+10:00

i is happening yo.

a few weeks ago was a 1 week holiday for the melb uni people & so,

we played to our hearts content.

the hols started off with good friday so we went to CROWN.
to eat $4 fish and chips. which was really good. and watch people gamble.

on sunday, i put on my rambo pants(they’re just cargo pants but i like to imagine that i could do a rambo in them) & we went to ~~shoot each other~~ PAINTBALL. me and yolanda (chen’s friend) were the only girls so when the group went out to take a break, i nearly followed them into the guys’ toilet. got 2 bruises within 2 cm of each other. cheebye painful. killed 2 people while in the sniper’s tower. & if i ever want to join the army, it’ll be to train as a sniper.

dragged my poor feet to go clubbing the same night. there was an event in an old hotel. watched girls from a famous club in taiwan perform there. black music was playing THE WHOLE TIME. there was not one artist who wasn’t of african-american descent. which was weird, considering that 99% of the clubbers were asians. me and bill decided that our $25 was spent on: $5 for the bunny ears they gave out as a welcome gift, $5 on the music videos that they kept playing on screens, $5 on the old hotel, $5 on the girls and $5 to pretend to be kewl.

also caught up a bit with yiwen when we went to planetshakers conference with junkit and alicia. awesome music. and although i was super tired, i still managed to pay attention to the message. some non christians i know are surprised at how technologically advanced the churches are, with telecast and the sound accoustics & some having the sermons available as podcasts.

also went to brighton beach! <3 we made all sorts of food and went to have a picnic in the freezing cold weather! i was convinced that the seawater was 2 degrees away from being total ice. i miss warm beaches and warm seawater to play in. junkit was being a perv and asking all the girls if they wore bikini under their clothes. the agreement was that the girls go sleeveless and the guys go topless. altogether, it was a happy day, ending with a meal at rose garden for most of them. but me, bill, kendrick and lin watched shutter island on lin’s huge super cool tv which can access his hard drive when he plugs it in.

this is lin’s ginormous couch. we’ve watched a lot of movies here

sandcastle.

architects and interior decorators: jasmine lung, debbie soo and melissa lim

ate out alot & played alot & slept alot. :D

happy happy me p.s. kaii says she likes this photo. i like it too!

photo credits: jiayang, xian, kaii, melody & everyone who made the pictures what it is with their smile :)

a cold april day

2010-04-27T17:47:00.002+10:00

i don't want to miss a thing

its been so cold recently, to the extent that there are blankets hanging around the living room. and whenever people come over, they immediately sunggle under it.

i like the feeling of being nice and warm under the blanket. or the smell of a successful soup.
yay. good feelings.

OH YEAH

even though the person this is intended for doesn't read my blog
i'm still going to post this

a person who's stuck in a bad position doesn't choose it
but you can choose to do what's right
and you can be more mindful of the fact you've hurt someone by your actions
and you can remember that what goes around comes around
xoxo

2010-04-19T15:39:00.001+10:00

i think i'll try defying gravity

to my grandparents

2010-03-30T13:35:00.002+11:00

the most loving thing i've seen wasn't on tv or in a movie.
it wasn't in books, or in my imagination.

2 days before my paternal grandmother died, a few members of the family was sitting around her bed and my grandfather was holding her hand. the look that transpired between them was one i had never seen in my entire life.

i later asked my father what that look meant. he paused and thought for a while said
'i think its grandma letting kong kong know she's going soon'.

that look said everything.
it said take care
don't forget to eat
i'll miss you
i'm going soon
be good
i forgive you
thank you
i love you
very very much

that look was beyond words. it said everything. and even the most cynical person would believe in love after seeing my grandparents like that.

they quarrelled alot. i remember them bickering at sunday dinners over kong kong eating more, i used to call them 'kids'. i know my grandmother wasn't easiest person to get along with, her temper was infamous. my grandfather courted her by going over to her father's place to do business and sit there and both of them would quietly eat bananas together. they had been through alot together.

60 years, 4 children & 5 grandchildren.

to my grandparents.

allinaday'swork

2010-03-23T17:33:00.002+11:00

today was a memorial service for a sports commentator.
at the member's dining room

it seemed more like a party to me, free flow of wine, bubbly and beer.
with finger food

the atmosphere reflected the party mood to me too.

to be honest, if it weren't for the large portrait near the bar, i would guess a club get together or something.

i gave 90% of effort today. but my brain wasn't functioning.
as a result, ok service but my supervisor must have thought i'm damn dumb.

tomorrow is setup for F1 so hopefully things will go better.

sighsighsigh

2010-03-23T02:12:00.002+11:00

you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams- Dr Seuss

i love quotes. especially witty ones and the ones that make you go aww.

i figure quotes can come from anywhere: poems, songs, books, movies, etc...

they have a way of summing up, ever so elegantly, a whole argument or a way of thinking, and its often food for thought.

on another note:

i miss a few friends & i can't talk to them because they're in SG.
i'm thinking of getting a blackberry. because of the BBM.
which is like MSN but you can message anyone in THE WORLD for free as long as that person has a blackberry as well
but kaii says that all her seniors who have bbs all regret getting them because their boss can contact them anytime. oh my gosh, i do NOT want that to happen to me.

:D

there are approximately 750 000 words in the english language. Some words, like hierarchical, are difficult to pronounce but the hardest ones to say are 3 simple words

:S

2010-03-17T02:11:00.002+11:00

i find it sad that losing friends is inevitable
whether you drift apart or quarrel or something happens.

sigh..
onto another matter,

happy 19th birthday tang man ching :D

you're 19 now so please act like it and not some spoilt kid XD
hope you enjoyed your birthday, even though you had to do abit of your essay

all hail

2010-03-06T15:24:00.001+11:00

ITS

HAILING.

The stones are LARGE. the last time it hailed it was like ant sized. THIS IS LIKE:

The hail on my window pane.

I put this in because she the white dots on the road? that’s how much hail and rain there was.

shall update later on cherm & bill’s birthday celebration

what wouldn’t i give

2010-03-04T14:41:00.001+11:00

that’s from the movie fame and the principal dancer in that scene is a so you think you can dance finalist, Kherington Payne.

to dance like THAT. wow. what wouldn’t i give.

on a side note dance can be really unfair, you have 1 lead and like 20 dancers to just stand around. and those 20 dancers rarely get picked up by the companies even though they’re talented.

draco malfoy

2010-03-04T09:49:00.002+11:00

taken from anger management, a harry potter fanfiction:

"You may not, I repeat, MAY NOT have a boyfriend at this age! Do you understand me? This flirty nature of yours has got to stop now. I will not tolerate this. Do you realize what will happen to you once you get sorted into your house? God forbid you end up liking a Slytherin like your mum. Those wretched boys are going to be all over you! I can already see myself fighting them off with my bare hands!"

"Dad, Christie is four."

"Leo, son, I am well aware. But you did NOT see her flirting with those five year olds at the park this morning!"

its a draco malfoy/hermione granger fanfic. its good for a short story.

back at russell street

2010-02-26T03:15:00.002+11:00

tasty is the forbidden fruit
but should permission be given
to enjoy it
i believe all its flavour would be lost

landed in melbourne

god, i really really dislike planes, although SIA made the journey much better

thank you whoever met up with me in singapore, for your time and effort, i really appreciate it.

you can hear cars and stuff from my apartment.
pink was just blasting from a car. love her songs and her attitude.

& i don't need you tonight

finality

2010-02-20T01:20:00.001+11:00

grandma looked peaceful. i was the last to place a flower inside her coffin before it went into the crematorium. the family was given yellow roses, because that was her favourite flower.

met up with manda. she managed to tear a $10 plastic note. don’t ask me how:

the mood for this trip back was very low. like gma first, then we couldn’t celebrate CNY. friends are all working and they’re kinda nervous for A level results. and on top of that i’m down with the flu.

the new malls depress me. ion, 313 & orchard central. they look alike. bright lights, loud music & stainless steel & glass = headache.

i should go ice skating or clubbing or something. something to take my mind off everything.

dust to dust

2010-02-09T13:57:00.003+11:00

we all live, we all die

at least i got to say goodbye.

2 more days of greeting relatives and family friends.

her lipstick shade is too pink though. she always wore it bright red.

the tent was done well. nice white sheets.

my job was to refill peanuts, melon seeds and sweets on the table.

i think tonight it will be collecting donations.

all in all, i think grandma would have liked her own funeral.

sg

2010-02-06T19:27:00.001+11:00

i've been emergencied back to singapore

so here i am, back in my humid hot home country.

i realise that

1. i have flown about 15 times in 2008 & 2009. Mainly to and from melbourne, sydney and singapore. therefore, i have consumed at least 10 disgusting meals, survived crappy service and packed my whole life into suitcases and boxes 3 times. take this advice from me, a spoilt singaporean: stick to SIA. Qantas has a lot to catch up on.

2. aussie immigration don't have a problem with me but singapore immigration does. EVERY SINGLE BLOODY TIME the singapore immigration will ask me how i got my USA passport. once they hear the singlish accent coming from my mouth they will stamp my passport. this time coming back was even funnier:

i went into the singaporeans queue. and the officer is a chinese and there's a malay officer leaning against the booth flipping through those 'CNY specials' catalogue that supermarkets like to give out.

so the officer looks at me, looks at my passport, looks at me, looks at my passport, not convinced that it is actually me. then the malay officer asks 'eh what is dis buddha jump over de wall ting arh?' The chinese officer is abit preoccupied with making sure that the girl in front of him is really both american and singaporean so he goes ' er er er... is de....' and i pipe in helpfully "sharks fin" the chinese officer looks at me and then immediately stamps my passport, convinced i am actually a singaporean because of my answer.

3. i am apparently going to visit my ill grandma every day cause that is the expected thing of me to do, as the eldest daughter of my father. she’s quite unresponsive, not talking. but she does nod or shake her head and her eyebrows do lift up when i tell her something that she finds amusing. everyone thinks she doesn’t have much time left. secretly, i am hoping she can survive although rationally i know it isn’t a comfortable life she’s leading now. i once debated for euthanasia, and i believed what i was saying. now though, i find it difficult to reconcile my heart and my head

4. went back to GB for fellowship camp. i was a station mistress with manda. some idiot group greeted us with ‘good evening sexy mistresses’(mistresses to who?!?!) and ‘good evening chiobu-s’. Every squad that passed through our station had to greet us with some variation of hot, sexy, cool, pretty, beautiful. :D including marianne’s squad. i wish i could have taken a video of marianne calling me “ hot station mistress melissa” but sadly, nah. went for supper with manda, melia, stacey, pet, dodo, vera, seow & mak. also saw sam there. we were at KAP, and it was full of orientation groups. i felt so old. <YEAR 2 OF UNI> just kept booming in my head. but i was happy because manda was next to me, worrying as usual, and on the other side of me, melia was listening to pet pet and stacey nonsense and i was talking to mak and seow and dodo and vera were also talking and everything seemed, for awhile, like we went back in time to sec 4.

Summer love

2010-01-28T16:36:00.001+11:00

its summer in Melbourne and the temperature is like 27 degrees. So much for a warm summer…

having the summer school people here is really fun cause they’re quite game for anything and we’re all foodies! :D

View Full Album

When i go back to Sydney and i remember the albert house people, the summer of 2010 will be one of my best memories <3

View Full Album

:D

2010-01-24T00:53:00.000+11:00

i can’t wait to see all of them again:

My father’s side (excluding my 2 cousins)

My mother’s side is just too many to fit into one photo.

i think CNY is my favourite time of the year. Christmas just gets more boring as you grow older. CNY you get angpows, gambling, funny relatives and lots and lots of goodies.

The Office Prayer

2010-01-10T01:33:00.001+11:00

Dear God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I cannot accept,

And the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people

I had to kill today because they really pissed me off,

And also, Lord, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,

As they may be connected to the ass that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work....12% on Monday, 23% on

Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, and 5% on Fridays.

And most importantly God, help me to remember

That when I'm having a really bad day,

And it seems that people are trying to piss me off,

That it takes 42 muscles to frown,

And only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

cause & effect & 2 awesome books

2010-01-07T01:08:00.004+11:00

everyone has gone home and walking to the suzuki night market(at queen vic market) tonight with grace, kendrick & melody made me realise that most of the asians are GONE
like there are actually the same number of caucasians and asian along swanston street.

wow
once a year migration
i wonder if this has any effect on anything

like in freakonomics
awesome book. i wonder if they'll have a degree in that kind of stuff. it basically applies economics to... non boring stuff like drugs and the klu klux klan. my favourite chapter is in superfreakonomics (the sequel) and its the epilogue about monkeys behaving like humans when they introduced the concept of MONEY to them (scroll down to read)

anyway, the main point of the effect thingy is illustrated in this story.

EFFECT: One of the states of USA was predicting a even higher rise in crime rate, everyone was fearing for their lives. but suddenly, the crime rates fell to super super safe. and everyone was wondering why.

CAUSE: Awhile back, all the states of USA were petitioning for legal abortion. illegal was super expensive, so only rich and middle class people were able to do it. and they succeeded in making it legal.

apparently, all the people who were supposed to commit crime (research shows that being from a poor, unstable home makes someone more likely to commit crime) were being aborted. so all those poor people were having legal, cheap abortions & those feotuses that were gotten rid of were the ones that was supposed to commit crime!

anyway, so the lack of asians in melbourne. what effect does that have? i wonder....

THE MONKEY STORY
so they put fake coins out on a tray to the monkeys one at a time in a seperate cage and the monkeys would have to exchange the coins for treats (jello or a piece of fruit) and one random day, a monkey tossed the tray back to the rest of the monkeys in the main cage and ran after the coins [bank robbery!]

and the researchers tried to get back the coins. but the monkeys wouldn't give up the coins unless the researchers gave them the treats in exchange for the coins [crime pays!].

so while giving the treats in exchange for the coins, the head researcher noticed a male monkey giving a coin to a female monkey. the researcher thought that the male monkey was showing kindness to the female monkey... instead. BAM. the first recorded instance of monkey prostitution. and 8 seconds later, the female monkey came up to the researcher to buy jello.

COOL RIGHT COOL RIGHT!!! sadly the experiment didn't continue cause the researchers thought that money was destroying their social interaction and their group. i would love to get my hands on that group of monkeys and see what happens. i reckon in 10 years time you would have prostitution, crime, abortions, bribery and a mafia in that monkey group

mlia

2009-12-21T01:03:00.002+11:00

fml is so yesterday

here come mylifeisaverage.com
its for the inner nerd in you
the one that believes in ninjas, harry potters, monsters under the bed and most importantly, loves empty cardboard boxes.

:D

a few of the submissions:

Today, while staying at a hotel I saw a sign that read "Please don't drop your cigarette butts on the ground, the iguanas come out and smoke them and we're trying to get them to quit." MLIA

Today, I saw Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves at Disneyland. I shouted, "OH MY GOD! HI GRUMPY!" He looked at me and gave me the finger. MLIA.

Today I was reading the back of my eyeliner, it said "tested on celebrities not animals." I laughed. MLIA

Today it was really foggy on my drive to school. I turned on the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack and pretended to be a pirate. MLIA.

Today, while shopping for my little brother in Toys R Us, i picked up a foam sword and swung it around a bit. I looked at the price, and underneath it was a warning. it said "CAUTION: not meant for actual combat with ninjas and/or zombies" Thanks for the warning. MLIA

pride and prejudice

2009-11-22T18:19:00.003+11:00

marianne's joining gb

i'm happy cause i know she's going to have a great bonding time with everyone.
i think there are 2 actual reasons why i want her to join:
1) so that she won't be stuck with just SBC friends.

i've never liked the idea of segregation inside MG. when we as a level, as sec4s, were allowed to discuss any issue we wanted, we didn't ask for anything, all we were concerned about as the last non SBC batch was that the MG spirit would be the price of this seperation between "gifted" and "non gifted" students. its really a large price to pay for academic excellence

i figured if i could get marianne into the only cca that has both pri and sec sides meeting up with each other regularly, maybe she'll have more perspective on this and not see herself as better or more intelligent

2) so that she has something in common with me.
i always wanted someone to be proud of me every time i got another badge, another year, another achievement.
my parents were but i don't think they really understood how much it meant.

so when marianne gets her 3rd year, her rank, her first drill com trophy, her PBB, i'll be there to be ever so proud of her.

i still believe not all good things have to come to an end

2009-11-17T04:45:00.003+11:00

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

not enough

2009-11-12T03:21:00.002+11:00

claire's fb status:

"Let me tell you something about people like me. People like me feel lost and little and ugly and dispensable...It's like every morning I wake up and I fail. And I look around and everybody seems to be pulling up but somehow I can't. No matter how hard I try, somehow I'll never be enough."

- i am sam

unsuitable

2009-10-25T16:54:00.001+11:00

"she looks pretty tonight", i casually remarked, all the while searching his red face for a reaction "always has been" was his only reply as his eyes followed her.

i think its damn ironic that i don't drink coffee and i'm a barista
and that i cannot take alcohol [literally, i don't have the enzyme to process alcohol] yet the industry that i'm in makes money in serving it.

HAHA. also the fact that i am the clumsiest person you'll ever meet does not help me at as a waitress.

porn

2009-10-16T02:26:00.000+11:00

12.45 am, a few weeks back, 901 verve

*the conversation steers to the ultimate topic amongst guys: porn

f: (proudly) 'eh, me, a, b, c, d, and e* all use the same website. eh. good stuff.'
the whole room: WTF?!

i later asked d if he really used the website
d: 'aiyah.... why he go and tell you? i shy.'

*names changed so as to not get a good whacking from their girlfriends

apparently, watching porn and having a girlfriend are 2 completely seperate aspects of life and not at all related . like how eating and having a blanket are 2 seperate things.

HAHA. which reminds me

f, chen, ryan and i were at starbucks and f was telling us how when his ex-gf found out that he watched porn, she emo-ed for a whole week and refused to talk to him. the convo was particularly disturbing, apparently they forget i'm a girl. which brings me to my point.

f was observing all the girls at starbucks and was pointing out the hot/pretty ones
so being my usual nosy self,
i asked chen whether he thought i was pretty, average or below average.
my kor's response?
OK LAH.
i was like '...' my only kor and that's what he says. apparently, according to him his being my kor is the reason why he cannot judge. cause its too weird judging whether his sister is pretty. so i turned to ryan and before i could say anything he was like
don't ask me this kind of stuff.
haha. actually if they were to ask me to judge their looks i also wouldn't be able to answer them...

my very happening schedule
last week: linyeh, yokeyee & jasmine's combined birthday
wednesday: WORK
friday: perd's birthday at seven(no, not the time, the club)
saturday: amandayee's birthday at korean restaurant
monday: WORK
thursday: maelstrom (flare production)
and for the week after that, i'm working 5 days in a week, all shifts begining at 9.30am. KNSNBCCB. cause all of them don't end before 5pm. *long line of expletives* :D

wait. there's a moral to the porn story.
oh yeah
NEVER USE THE SAME PORN SITE AS YOUR HOUSEMATE BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL KNOW.

yay

2009-10-14T07:27:00.002+11:00

i'm up!
at 7 am in the morning

because i haven't slept all night

sorting out my life...
just thinking. :)

celebrations

2009-10-11T18:30:00.002+11:00

i've often wondered what a 10 year reunion would be like with the albert house people.
and in my imagination
i see everyone
maybe a few people aren't able to make it but i still see everyone
maybe we've aged a bit
maybe some couples aren't together anymore
maybe new couples have formed
but i still see everyone
laughing, joking.

and i expect to feel happy
but i'm not sure if i can handle the changes

yesterday was a reunion of some sorts.
junlin, jasmine, and yokeyee.
these three turned a year older
and we were all there
some couldn't make it but i still saw everyone
some couples had broken up
some had new relationshops
but i still saw everyone
laughing, joking

and i felt at peace
although changes had been made,
we were still gathered there

i learn.

2009-10-10T02:40:00.005+11:00

forcing myself to sit down, i mumbled
"爱很... 辛苦".
he paused and looked at me,
"爱也是甜蜜".
unvoluntarily, a small sad smile crossed my face at his optimism and his strong belief in the topic. i replied slowly, not being so fluent in chinese and searching for the right words "是九十九巴仙痛苦的".

his answer was quick

"可是那一巴仙的甜蜜是值得的"

money- its a rich man's world

2009-09-19T20:31:00.002+10:00

i received my paycheck notification in the mail yesterday, they directly credited it into my bank account. apparently, tuesday is their accounting day of the week.

i spent it on groceries...

bloody hell right?
i wish i got a nice piece of jewellery with it or a bag or something

but no, bills have to be paid and groceries have to be bought...

welcome to the real world.

mydad'smum

2009-09-03T16:38:00.003+10:00

today i called my grandmother

she seemed ok
it seemed like it was a good day for her
she even told me she'll bring me out to eat if i came back for chinese new year '10

i was about to tell her that i found a placement for industry training

until she asked me where i was and whether i liked it here

for the 3rd time

and then me finding a job didn't seem so important anymore

so i told her: i ate nasi lemak, yup, a malay family sells it here grandma. yes, the rice quite lemak. i think almost as good as singapore's. yes, i will study hard grandma, when i build a hotel you can stay there for free. i'm in australia now grandma. melbourne, its nice here. you'll see me at chinese new year. yeah, ang pows! huh? you'll only give me $1.20? how about $2? yeah, you can start saving for the extra 80 cents! yes grandma, i'm in australia. melbourne. yeah, i like it here. thanks grandma. ok. yes i'll take care. you too. bye bye.

when & if she asks me who i am
i don't think i'll be able to take it then

i used to wear a tshirt that said
i want to be just like grandma when i grow up
and i meant it.
she was the coolest person i knew as a kid

so today, i'll make a promise
to call her every week
so that, hopefully,
she won't forget me.

day 6

2009-09-03T02:42:00.002+10:00

day 6 of doing nothing

doing nothing does not go well with me

it is a thursday today
i used to like thursdays

we made fun of __'s blog today. and yesterday. and on saturday.
quite fun to go WTF is she doing?!

its ok. we didn't make fun of yours.

i saw this really pretty summer dress on f21's website.
i waaant.

i'm sorry if this is such a self-indulgent post.
the most frequent company i have nowadays are my thoughts.

: (

2009-08-30T21:02:00.001+10:00

i'm unemployed and homeless now...

and i have about $100 to get me through until i find a job

i'm a sad sad person...

:(

sigh. life ain't easy...

words words words

2009-08-23T22:45:00.002+10:00

i'm in kim's room now... trying to study for bba but doing everything but that.

once in awhile its nice to reflect on your life.

if i've achieved much, struggled much, dealt with much, then i'm happy that i came through that and i know that i'm stronger for all that.

if i've had a lot of fun, made stronger friendships, and had a good time, then i reflect fondly on the precious memories.

i believe that there's some sort of compensation for everything

don't you?

i found a poem today:

In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond,
I know she's used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

-the quiet world, Jeffrey McDaniel

and it got me thinking,

hypothetical question for today:

if you had exactly 167 words to say before you died,
what would it be?

hmmm.

2009-08-20T23:07:00.002+10:00

1. i'm thinking of starting up a site where all rice cooker recipies can be posted

simple ones.

for the students that have never cooked in their life and suddenly have to make do with just a rice cooker to cook.

whaddya think?

2. today at work was UBER busy. there was a full house (6 tables) and customers just kept coming and coming. i was just so not prepared for that. luckily i did ok, $15 in tips :D. today was my payday too, so i'll treat myself to a better than usual meal this weekend.

spam mail

2009-08-18T00:19:00.002+10:00

its interesting to go through my junk mailbox sometimes:

i get "male enhancement pills", "bring back the time when girls were yours", and all sorts of ridiculous junk emails.

i received this one today:

Dear Sir/Madam
My name is (staff Sgt.) David Bruce i am an American soldier, serving in the Military with the army's 3rd infantry division.
i have a very desperate need for Assistance and have summed up courage to contact you.
I found your contact through internet serching and I am seeking your kind Assistance to move the sum of Five million United States dollars (us$5,000,000) to you, as far as I can be assured that my share will be safe in your care Until i complete my service here.

Source of money: some money in US currencies were discovered in barrels at a Farmhouse near one of saddam’s old palaces in tikrit-iraq during a rescue operation, and it was agreed by staff Sgt Kenneth buff and i that some part of this money be shared Between both of us before informing anybody about it since both of us saw the money first. This was quite an illegal thing to do, but i tell you what! no compensation can make up For the risk we have taken with our lives in this hell hole, of which my brother in-law Was killed by a road side bomb last time.

The above figure was given to me as my share, and to conceal this kind of money become a Problem for me but with the help of a British contact working here and with his office Enjoying some immunity, i was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely Out of trouble spot. he does not know the real contents of the package, and he believes that it belongs to a British American medical doctor who died in a raid here in Iraq, And before giving up, trusted me to hand over the package to his family in country.

I have now found a very secured way of getting the package out of Iraq to you at home For you to pick up, and i will discuss this with you when i am sure that you are willing To assist me and that my money will be well secured in your hand. I want you to tell me How much you will take from this money for the assistance you will give to me.

One Passionate appeal i will make to you is not to discuss this matter with anybody,if you have any reasons to reject this offer, please and please destroy this message as any Leakage of this information will be too bad for the u.s. soldier's here in Iraq. I do Not know how long we will remain here; month of May was the deadliest month for us to be out Here. Totally, we lost 127 men and i have been shot,wounded and survived two suicide Bomb attacks by the special grace of god. This and other reasons i will mention later Has prompted me to reach out for help.

I honestly want this matter to be resolved immediately, please contact meas soon as Possible with my private e-mail address which is my only way of communication (e-mail: sgtdavidbruce1@yahoo.co.jp)
May god bless you and your family
From David Bruce.

sigh... scammers...

term 2

2009-08-16T16:08:00.003+10:00

term 2 is coming to a close and exams are all that's left to finish the term off.

this term went so fast.
i think i've learnt something from this term. i hope.

my accounting lecturer/tutor's parting words:

And as future business leaders you have responsibilities to those who depend on you:
Protect the weak,
Don’t hurt anybody,
Earn the respect of your friends, employers, employees, suppliers, customers and owners by your behaviour,
Don’t become known as a liar.
Don’t become known as a cheat or a thief
Get a reputation as someone who is loyal, honest and trustworthy i.e. someone who others want to be like.
So I say to you, my Friends,
Never lose hope,
Be strong, resilient, persistent & focused, the Gods will take you to where you need to be.

And remember…..“Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you will land among the stars”

PS Something for your journey:

Your Life’s Account
Your Happiness is your Profit
Your Sorrows are your Loss
Your Soul is your goodwill
Your Duties are your Outstanding Expenses
Your Friendship is your Hidden Adjustment
Your Character is your Capital
Your Knowledge is your Investment
Your Patience is your Interest
Your Mind is your Bank Balance
Your Bad Thinking is your Depreciation
Your Behaviour is your Journal Entry
Your Life Partner is your Partner
Your Child is your Long Term Goal
Your Death is your Closing Stock

job interview

2009-08-12T11:56:00.003+10:00

please please please
please please please
please please please
please please please
please please please
please please please
please please please
puh-lease...
please please please
please please please
please please please
please please please
dear God: please.
please with-whipped-cream-and-a-cherry-on-top

surviving

2009-08-10T11:34:00.002+10:00

it really really hurts.

thoughtsthoughtsthoughts

2009-08-07T12:13:00.002+10:00

so many things on my mind right now:

celebrity chef

i volunteered for this fuction where this famous chef is going to come to cook! its quite cool and i thought i would want to help out cause you get your picture taken with the chef!! anyway... its tonight and i'm quite excited... :) need to iron yet another shirt. i have this huge pile of washed unironed shirts and everytime i need a new shirt, people can see me sprinting to the ironing boards in a tshirt and fbts with a shirt in hand....

césar ritz

an exchange program for one term in switzerland. i so want to escape manly so i'm quite set on doing that... BUT the same term in icms is the coolest term ever. you get to organise your own event. HOW COOL IS THAT?! sigh... have to choose... the celebrity chef above is an example of the student's event.

what to do with birthday money

me mum decided to give me money this year for my birthday. i have no idea what to do with it cause:
dress: i'll wear it a few times only
skinny jeans: must be perfect fit and i'm too lazy to hunt
shoes: i'm moving around quite abit so... not good to pack.
books: ditto

sofitel interview

sofitel in melbourne's supposed to give me a call for an interview cause icms sent my resume to them last wednesday... SIGHSIGHSIGH. i'm getting worried cause they haven't called me. and i've checked my voicemail like 183649 times.

my ever so messy room

the cluttering of my room reflects the state of my mind in turmoil.
...
nah, i'm just too lazy to clear it.

:D

18 & 1

2009-08-04T22:37:00.006+10:00

for i am 18 and we are 1

melbourne ♥
:) went to melbourne for the weekend to celebrate my 18th properly and i'm so glad i did.

thank you albert house peeps for being there...
i celebrated my 17th with you guys and my 18th and i really really hope i will get to celebrate many many more birthdays with you :)

went to accelerated maths 2 lecture with ruann, linyeh, ryan, bill, junkit. the lecurer was damn funny.

*ringtone loudly blares in the middle of lecture*

guy with loud phone: sorry
lecturer *smiling*: its ok. i'm not angry or upset. but if it happens again,
i might have to kill you

friday was bill's suprise for me. he kind of forced me into a wearing a dress and refused to tell me where we were going. and we were walking to brunetti's(the one not along lygon st.) to scout for chen's cake. and we saw this ginormous crowd near regent theatre where wicked was showing. then i remembered that there was the wicked lucky draw so we went to see if the lucky draw was still on cause you get front row seats if you win it. turned out we didn't need it cause bill's suprise for me was:

wicked tickets! fourth row :)

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

it was really really really good. hahaha. they had really cool neon martini glasses that lighted up. i wanted one but bill used the excuse of 'no money' since the seats weren't too cheap...

saturday night was steamboat/me&chen's birthday celebration

i, being the best youngest sister chen could possibly ever have, lovingly made a vegemite(chen's fav. food) cake for him. with whipped cream, crumpets and chocolate: [it was disgusting]

chen's cake and my cake [his real cake came out later]

anyway, we ate a lot of food and watched public enemies

IT WAS BAD.[public enemies. not the food. melissa is never wrong with the food]

but overall i was a happy person

also went on a tour of carlton breweries and tasted beer.

list of melbourne food i ate

pei tan chok [century egg congee] supper inn-open till 2.30 am
salmon onigiri- union house melbourne uni
beef and mushroom rice noodles- saigon noodle melb uni
spring rolls+chargrilled chicken with broken rice- mekong ♥
baked eggs with bacon and mushroom- animal orchestra
steamboat buffet+birthday brunetti's blackforest cake- 老干妈
seafood buffet- margo's, crown
variety of stuff- noturno's
chicken rice- coconut house
peach sago- dessert house[they ran out of mango sago]
french toast- made by me!

sigh. disorganised post but here's a last photo:

: )

2009-07-27T22:10:00.003+10:00

i'm nearly 18!!! whoohoo. just a few more hours. :)

anyway, i just read this:

basically, a little girl has been diagnosed with cancer and she needs to go to new york for treatment. but its really expensive so she needs all the help she can get.

as most of you know, the battle against cancer is something quite close to my heart so please donate.. :) details can be found here. every single donation counts and i can tell you, every person who had helped my family through the difficult times, i appreciate them, truly.

so... please help

last few days of irresponsibleness

2009-07-26T19:33:00.002+10:00

i'm still 17...
my last few days of being underage and being the youngest
i'm looking forward to growing up :)

met up with sean, watched bruno[SO NOT WORTH WATCHING]

saw kristy.
the first thing she said was OMG YOU'RE STILL THE SAME SIZE!
cue the -.- face.
anyway, we spent the day talking about the randomest things.

it was nice.

living

2009-07-11T01:46:00.001+10:00

i feel like i'm living in the past
like all i have is memories.
and nothing else

since when did it get so hard to live?

3 sisters

2009-07-06T23:37:00.002+10:00

the 3 Ms:

me, maddy and marianne

i wonder how tall maddy will get.
i hope marianne doesn't get taller than me

i don't think anyone can guess that i'm the oldest then.

my grace is sufficient

2009-07-05T22:45:00.002+10:00

into your hands, i commit again
with all i am, for you Lord
you hold my world in the palm of your hand

i really really thank god for looking after me this term

at the start of this term i resolved to go to church regularly. and i went for 2 weeks then i had stuff and school cropping up. but i still talked to Him regularly and basically, i decided i would commit myself into his hands again.

and He timed everything so nicely. like i decided i would look for a job and he gave me a nice one that fit into my timetable and didn't cut into my weekends [my friend couldn't find a job]. and after i got settled into my job, the derks came to sydney, [quite fun, hanging around them made me feel so much better] and then now, joanna's coming for the hillsong conference.

there's a lot of stuff that He managed to fit in for me nicely also but that's a very very long detailed story.

and i'm getting used to this place. somehow making it all work.

fanfics

2009-07-05T14:52:00.003+10:00

Draco Malfoy speaking to Jason, a fanfic character who's interested in Ginny:

"Not at all," Draco enthused, in a jaunty voice. He patted Jason lightly on the shoulder, as he nudged him towards the fireplace. "Just checking to see if you understood what Harry Potter is capable of, is all. Horribly boring individual. Terrible conversationalist. S’got the personality of a door stop, really. But when it comes to aggressive magic, Jason," Draco paused, "there isn't another human on the planet to match him."

ahaha. i love fanfiction.net

life

2009-07-03T01:34:00.003+10:00

when i went back to sg and entered my bedroom, i rembered what i had taped to my desk. written on the maskin tape was:

'laugh a lot , love all, live to the fullest, dream big, work hard, play harder'

i wrote that before going off to trinity.
to remind myself that these things in life are the things worth living for.
that life is not just about studying.
there's so much more to do

at the end of my life. i want to be able to tell God

"i managed to laugh, work, love, play, dream and best of all, i lived the life you gave me to the fullest"

i want to have no regrets.
so perhaps
i should be unafraid
as i was before.

wishes and dreams

2009-06-26T23:02:00.003+10:00

wish for something.
maybe it'll come true
cause God has 3 answers
yes, wait, no.

and so if your wish has been granted
you'll be happy
you should be
live it up and savour the moment

if it isn't and its gone the wrong way
don't be sad
don't be angry
just continue with life
but don't forget to keep wishing

if your answer has yet to come
then wait with me
you can sit beside me
we'll look at the stars
and keep waiting

66% MG

2009-06-24T01:55:00.003+10:00

1. [x] you own at least 4 pairs of FBT shorts [FBTs ftw! haha. our gb contingent wanted to put fbt on our ctg shirt until we found out it stood for football thailand]
2. [ ] You recall the founders day when the school was vandalized [eh?]
3. [x] You still believe Hock Seng recycles/d his straws
4. [x] You spent at least 1 year of your school life patronizing the red bowl stall [more than that]
5. [x ] You spent more pocket money on mayo chicken and hock seng’s snacks than recess itself [omg. yes. i still remember claire eating mayo chicken under mrs david's nose]
6. [ ] You had 5 ting xie books so as to avoid doing correction/getting parents signatures [i damn guai. always kena scolded for getting 0/20 for ting xie]
7. [x] You cut queue at the Yong Tao Foo stall [ahem. hungry lah]
8. [ ] You faked an injury to wear sandals to school
9. [x] You got away with your skirt being 1 inch too short [don't we all?]
10. [x] Your badge was never covering the pinafore bit, it was as low as you could get away with [who wears it high???]
11. [ ] You made every excuse to not change out of your PE attire
12. [x] Monday chapels were 1 hour nap time
13. [ ] You fainted at least once during school assembly
14. [ ] You always arrived late on Mondays to avoid the ‘read Chinese/MT books’ initiative in the quadrangle[again, i was guai]
15. [x] You played pepsi cola one two three in the linkway AHAHA
16. [x] The only hopscotch tiles you know are the ones in the concourse [always use our wallets]
17. [ ] You got upset by ‘Monkey Girls’ School’ [proud of it!]
18. [ ] You threatened a teacher that your parents will complain to XXX
19. [x] You remember Tuesday morning devotions with Mrs Tan
20. [x] You know what KAP and BTP stand for [2nd home]
21. [x] You got away with eating in class :D
22. [x] You have at least one good friend from GB :)
23. [x] You know where computer lab 4.1 is and you had classes in there
24. [ ] You remember when Maple Woods was just green grass [wth? how long ago was that??]
25. [x] You were one of the brats who was picked up by your mum/ahma everyday[only in primary school]
26. [ ] Alternatively, you got a lift from a friend whose mum/ahmad picked them up everyday
27. [x] You used the orange pay phone by the guardhouse regularly[hello? mum? yeah, done. k.]
28. [x] You learnt “Rubber Duckie” as part of your music lesson[RUBBER DUCKIE YOU'RE THE ONE. YOU MAKE BATHTIMES LOTS OF FUN. RUBBER DUCKIE I'M VERYVERY FOND OF YOOOOUUU]
29. [ ] You can’t remember the second and third verse of the school song [i doubt a true mg girl would forget the 2nd and 3rd verses...]
30. [x] You caused a chain of effect of screams because you saw a bug/lizard [all girls school... sigh]
31. [x] You miss the Touch Typing program offered in primary school [like it had any use?]
32. [x] You never understood why you had to plait your hair when the ponytail reached the collar [i thought its so that the tradition of french plaits would continue...]
33. [ ] You still wore coloured sports bra [again, note the guai-ness. i remember seow used to wear purple ones... ]
34. [x] You wore shorts under your pinafore on non-PE days[FBTs ftw]
35. [ ] Your class scared a male teacher away before
36. [x] You have at least three relatives who studied/are currently studying in MGS
37. [ ] Your mum was classmates with your teacher/classmates mum
38. [x] You wore jackets in school because it was ‘that’ cold
39. [x] You miss MGS canteen food [RED BOWL NOODLES.]
40. [ ] You had the fattest pencil case because it was stuffed with all those coloured pens and markers
41. [x] You still use the blue/black uni-ball ultra-fine 0.38 pen [i panic when its not in my pencil case]
42. [x] You still wear your House/PE t shirt occasionally [comfy!]
43. [ ] You almost gave the Home Econs teacher a heart attack
44. [x] There is a theme song from one of the camps or REW weeks that you still remember [i think...]
45. [x] You will send your daughter to MGS
46. [x] You’ve gone back at least once to visit after graduating
47. [x] Your class made a Lao Shi cry before [she cried herself! we didn't do anything]
48. [ ] Hock Seng used to call you by your house (address) number
49. [x] You wonder why we never actually had prom [founder's day instead...]
50. [x] You wish you could relive it all over again.

:)

job description

2009-06-20T01:06:00.003+10:00

melissa the spoilt kid has finally worked for the 1st day in her life.
whoohoo.
my job is translator+secretary+receptionist+waitress+dishwasher

all in all, a job at a chinese takeaway shop where the chef cannot speak english and the customers cannot speak chinese.

the order comes in in english. i have to write it down in chinese and give to the chef. 15 mins later, the food comes and i have to pack it and tell them 'here's your fish, rice and soup'. multiply by 20.

all we ever do is fight, fight and fight.
i'm tired.

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

2009-06-19T01:00:00.002+10:00

IN ENG TODAY:

what do you see?

research shows that young children cannot see the couple because they have not been exposed to these sort of images. instead, they see 9 dolphins.
apparently, if you can't see the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is corrupted.

melissa/] says:
the teacher showed it to us in class
AND I COULDN'T SEE THE STUPID DOLPHINS!
then she was like
ok
all of you should have found the dolphins
and i think i was the only one who was still staring at the screen
{silent but violent} says:
then
melissa/] says:
still trying to figure out where the things were
so i concluded
i have a effing corrupted mind
{silent but violent} says:
u still can't see them?

IT TAKES ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO SEE EACH DOLPHIN.
.
.
.
.
which makes me wonder... either my mind is bad at optical illusions

or my mind is corrupted beyond God's good saving grace.

i'd rather believe that my mind is bad at this sortathing.
somehow i doubt so.

interview

2009-06-17T23:25:00.002+10:00

bumbumbumbumboom

i've got a mock job interview, a real job interview and a BBA test.

somehow, the bba test is the least of my worries.

AH.
OH. YEAH.

i got 1 job offer. from a chinese takeaway shop. its good. cause i only have to work tuesdays and thursdays. and its near. the job interview i have tomorrow is for a cafe- the one i thought was an indian restaurant but apparently its a cafe run by indians. AHAHA.

i also had a job interview with gloria jean's. the interviewer was like
:'so what are your strengths?'
me:*blank*... er. MY SMILE?

help

2009-06-15T04:08:00.001+10:00

ineedhelp

i've been sleeping at 5 am
waking up at 2 pm
and eating most of the time.

there. i said it.
i really need to get my life together.

JOBHUNT

2009-06-13T19:53:00.002+10:00

i went for a jobhunt today...

cause i am too damn bored in my room.

the only interested people were from the indian restaurant.

if i get a job there,
i will be a chinese working in an indian restaurant...

anyone thinks that's funny?

my mum does.

I CAN'T FIND YOU

2009-06-11T03:52:00.001+10:00

WHERE ARE YOU????

moulin rouge

2009-06-08T00:44:00.002+10:00

I'VE LIKE WATCHED MOULIN ROUGE FOR THE FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY SECOND TIME.

its the only movie which i can tolerate that has a sad ending.

it always makes me cry. then again people who know me argue that i've cried for every movie that i've watched that. except like, simpsons?
haha.

because of all the glitz of the costumes and nicole kidman& ewan mcgregor, there is the tendency to brush it off as a hollywood romantic movie. yes, it may be that but look at what most adults are struggling with: balancing their work and family. ultimately, its down to what you want to place first. as my facilities lecturer said 'you think people who have finished their shift at work and battled 1 hour of peak traffic are going to go home and be model husbands?'
of course, in the movie, the choice between love and money is dramatised, its a dilemma, it seems unapplicable. but little choices we make each day build up to that effect.

another thing about the movie i find so thought provoking is the extent to which a human can love. when i reflect on gossip i hear about this and that and i hear friends telling me their stories and problems, i always am astonished at what a human being can go through in order to protect a person they love, be it a family member, a friend or something more. sometimes, i'm proud to call myself a human being.

i hope i'll always have the ability to cry at movies and not become cynical and jaded...

and so. the best thing you can take away from moulin rouge:

the most important thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return.

sleep

2009-06-07T00:32:00.002+10:00

a world i no longer recognise
a world which is not mine
a world i'm no longer part of

my driver's theory test is booked for next sunday

i'm so tired of changes, of uncertainity...
i don't want to be changing my address ever few months, flying here and there.
i want to curl up and sleep.
sleep for a very very long time.

then when everything's over, i'll wake up.
and everything will be alright again.

missing ah

2009-06-06T00:20:00.003+10:00

amanda yee[ahma] video called me.
made me realise how much i missed her.
even though she drives me nuts

and all the albert house people.
like that SORHAI wai hoe of an ah kong
even though he annoys me to hell. really. like THROTTLES NECK
and jianfei and his chuck norris jokes and how he annoys me when i ask why is __ so late? and then he'll go BECAUSE NOT EARLY. ARGH
and grace who always tries to get me and bill to do something and she'll go WHOOOO. and you feel like killing her
or like kristy who is like damn perverted and you don't know whether to laugh, cry or stop listening to her

but i still miss everyone, even though they're idiots. and as cherm once said 'if you call the person idiot means love. heehee' and i think this picture best depicts it:

but every single memory i have of them, with them, i treasure...

first 3 days of school

2009-06-03T23:35:00.003+10:00

the first 3 days of school have been... educational, to say the least. also, extremely hilarious

Rooms division class(housekeeping, etc):

ms roughley: ok, we're going to get everyone to tell us something that nobody in college knows.

XX: i teach spanish. well, i used to teach spanish. but 2 days ago i slept with my student.
class: WHOOHOO! HAHAHA.
-i had to rapidly translate this into chinese for the benefit of this chinese guy next to me. so i was like er... 他跟他学生睡觉... er. no... 上床? the guy was like OH.

buisness communication:

lecturer: who has never worked before?
only my hand goes up... AH! i'm not a rich kid ok? i've just been studying my whole damn life!
also. i happen to be the youngest in that class. the oldest is like 30+?

Hospitality(bar practical):

we tried 12 types of alcohol. and along the way learnt that monks and nuns distilled alcohol in the name of God. tried one that was named frangelico, the bottle is shaped like a MONK but seriously, its just wrong to have alcohol named after a order of monks... but having said that, it was quite nice... very nutty flavour.

another one goes by the name 'perfect love' made from violets and roses. it is a very nice lavander colour and smells lovely. Sounds like a perfect drink to order for your romantic date? it tastes like crap and another name for it is 'cream of virgin'. so don't.

my favourite one was one that was made from rasberries :)

sigh.

more interesting stuff to come...