bored

just a thing

interesting: disney repeat video

anyway, not that i blame disney or anything. cause i think they're the best thing ever. until i came :D

they'll need like 1000 cheorographers and stuntmen if they never repeat sequences....

don't ask me why i was as bored as to google i am bored


AND OMG I FOUND THIS

The Horsehair Worm's Side Effect? Suicide.

Imagine you're a happy grasshopper for a moment, joyfully kissing your grasshopper wife and kids goodbye as you leave the house, tiny briefcase in hand, ready to hop to work for the day.

Suddenly, on your way to the office, a sudden urge overtakes you, an urge that cannot be ignored. You obediently follow the siren song to the nearest body of water, and promptly fling yourself in. For weeks afterward, your widowed wife and friends will wonder what could have possibly made a perfectly happy and content grasshopper tragically commit suicide, by drowning no less. Depression? An affair gone wrong? Crushing gambling debts? No, it turns out it was just another strike from the soulless and evil menace known as the horsehair worm.

Resembling a coarse, thick horse hair (well, duh) the horsehair worm infiltrates insects, and sometimes even crabs, as a larva when the insect drinks tainted water. From inside the aforementioned grasshopper, the worm goes to work.

It weasels its way into the body cavity, and nourishes itself on the insect's tissues, sometimes growing up to a foot long. After a time, when the worm has matured, it starts to get horny, as teenagers do, and decides that the time has come to find himself a sexy mate. The problem is, all of the sexiest female worms hang out at the swimming pool club, and he's stuck inside of a prudish grasshopper.

That's a problem easily and dickishly solved by the horsehair worm, however, by simply reprogramming the insect's brain to seek out the nearest body of water and to hop right in, despite the sad fact that grasshoppers, like many other insects, can't swim.

As his former host panics and gasps its last breaths of sweet life, the worm casually slithers out of its anus, bids adieu to the drowning grasshopper and swims in search of the orgies of knotted up worms he's heard so much about

omg. i totally am compassionate toward grasshoppers right now.

doddery-ness. and crap

i finished my essay

but i didn't get that same feeling of relief.
maybe because the question was like
"describe your worst service encounter and analyse"

haha. piece of cake compared to HOI: here

anyway, referencing was also freakin easy. like you don't have to have 20 different sources. and at least all your sources are ALIVE and not part of the air that you breathe[socrates would be fully decomposed now right?]

i like hoi
maybe when i get old and doddery with a sprained back because i polished too much cutlery, i'll go teach hoi.
then i can actually say 'i was alive when obama got elected...'
'and when i was young, britney spears' songs were on cassette tapes'
'and here is the very first nano ipod that videos could be watched on'
and then all the students will gasp at my ancient-ness

technology...

anyway, are you suprised i can churn out so much crap after i just did 1.5k words of polished crap that is called an academic essay?

i am :D

best commercials

OK!

melissa's picks for the best commercials ever!

i've only got 3 here.

but i'll definitely put more up when i see it

please give me the link if you see a funny one too!

most heartwarming:


best ad to show teenagers:


best ad to be proud of sg:


anyway, i am blogging cause i have an essay due :D
melissa the procrastinator
also, most awesome person you'll ever see XD

review on albert house

FOR ANYONE GOOGLING ALBERT HOUSE, HOMELINK, MELBOURNE: (to stay at) here's a point of view from someone who has stayed here a year:

its the people that make the place, not the building or the food. if you're an extremely picky eater or someone who must be surrounded in exquiste architecture, this is not the place for you. in fact, don't even bother considering any of the boarding places. Get your own apartment and cook your own meals.

however, if you are like the rest of us, albert house is totally fine. Sure you only have 700mbs to use each month for internet but you can go on the 1gig plan or buy some more/ kope from someone else. food is not spectacular but you won't be malnourished or anything. Uncle andrew will give you anything you ask for, within reason.

albert house will teach you

-tolerance [trust me, there's a lot of unreasonable people in this world]
-how to cook using only a microwave and a rice cooker
-how to hold your alcohol
-how to sew your own shirt button when it falls off [or you can ask someone else. NICELY]
-how to vaccum your room
-a lot of invaluable life lessons

looking back, i'm grateful for it. really blessed :D

live to learn, learn to live

hmm. i'm in the kitchen for the next 5 weeks. this week was our first.

my hands smell of onions
my hair smelt of pizza until i washed it 3 times
my rings constantly have to be taken off. and i still put them back on cause i feel weird without them
my 2 chefs jackets are stained a very festive red(tomato paste[pizza]) and green(avocado salad)

yet i still love working in the kitchens.
i've learnt a lot already, like cracking an egg with one hand (i can do 2 eggs at one time). and how to extract an avocado from its skin, seedless (KNS, the *bleep* thing is so *bleep* soft, damn difficult to keep in one piece.)

i really like learning this kind of stuff.
like how to carry 3 plates in 1 hand[i pawn!!!] and making coffee and stuff like that.

......................................................................................................

recently received an email from a friend.
call the person em

so. em was confused and asked a lot of questions.
1 in particular struck me:

"They say that it is the decisions we make which define who we really are. So does that mean that if I make selfish decisions, I’m a selfish person?"

i never really thought of myself as a particularly selfish person
i'll give up my time, sometimes money, and usually i do help out when asked

yet when i look at my recent major life decisions, i can't help but think that i'm a very selfish person. i leave family and friends just to pursue a future possible thing. all the excuses are gone, only the immense guilt of spending my parents money remains.

the only thing i have left to comfort myself is that they would want me to be happy... right?

being my nosey matchmaking self

& i wonder...

i'm happy today :)

cause i've just learnt of 2 budding relationships.
and coming from the mouth of the involvees no less!

haha. it always makes me feel nice, like the world's a better place.

one is shaw, he likes his flatmate, michelle.
and they are as he puts it, 慢慢来.
shaw! 好好追她!

and the other, i cannot say. i only will say that if i were my 16 year old self i definitely would have had a crush on him... his piano playing= swoonable. and considering i've seen claire play,(not that i think about claire that way, but i'm just saying) its quite good. violin and guitar are no problem for him. and he can speak 5 languages fluently.
the girl is very sweet and i like her a lot even though i've only spoken to her a few times.
yay, nice couple. :)

but anyway, claire! you're still the best piano player i know!

ramblings

i was wondering what was the statistics for long distance relationships, or as jo puts it 'ohhh. so LDR' and i guess it means you live a considerable distance apart.
i used to think it meant you live in a different country. but apparently, australia is one huge country and i know people who live in 2 seperate states.

like how many actually end up together after all that.

cause according to my psych textbook, the top three conditions for a relationship to start are geographical, similar interest and something else... ah well, you can't expect me to remember can you? especially since i read that damn thing once, the night before final exams. HAHA

in my group alone, there's lily, jack, kim(she sees him every weekend but they still live in different areas), johannes and me.

on a side note, all of us are dating people older than us, including the guys, not sure about johannes though.

and johannes was driving us and we were having a conversation about all of the relationships and i felt either really mature or really bad.

kim's giving up her career to be with her bf
johannes' gf is moving from NZ to be with him
pan also wants to settle down, when she meets the right guy
lydia wants to marry and can feel her biological clock ticking
eric's going to propose when he graduates

all these crazy people are 19+

and i'm this 17 year old thinking to myself 'you study for 3 years and want to throw it all away'
my vision of myself in 5 years is definitely not a stay home mum
its me, a career woman, making a ton of money, maybe considering marriage but definitely not married yet.

is it the singaporean mentality that we all put careers before personal life?

a bit confusing.
but oh well
i'm only 17

to put it into perspective, romeo and juliet decided they'd rather die than go on without each other at fifteen
crazy teenage hormones, unchanged since 1800

anyway, i'm off to help out with a function. there's never a dull day in hospitality... even on a freakin sunday. oops, sabbath. sorry God. can't go to church today..

oh yeah, i got 80% for my fine dining serving thingo.
i guess i'm ok with it...

just another day

nothing much going on right now... school work takes up all of my time...

there's a function coming up on sunday, raising money for the victorian bushfire... i think that'll be quite fun, but i can't go near any alcoholic booths. : (
actually, i'm n0t that fond of alcohol, i just think that bartender would be nice to add to my list of achievements :)

it sucks being underage most of the time

anyway, finished GDR, got around $40 in tips, for 6 meals that i served.
not bad mannn...

TIP YOUR WAITRESSES PEOPLE.

15

i'm finally starting to have a bit of a life.

went out shopping yesterday, johannes drove pan, kim, lydia and me to warringah mall.
it was nice sitting in his car even though he's quite a scary driver.
blasted 4 minutes damn loud, like those pimp cars.
for the first time since i came here, i felt alive again.

went with lydia to sydney city itself. bought a pair of flats, since my $12 ones are falling to bits. those $12 ones were my first pair, black. somehow when i bought those 3 years ago, life seemed a lot simpler.
like all i had to worry about was my marks, even that i didn't bother worrying about.
everyday was constant
everyday was fun.
everything had its place

i'm fifteen for a moment,
caught in between ten and twenty
and i'm just dreaming...
fifteen, there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
fifteen, there's never a wish better than this
-100 years

idon'twanttobeinmanly

oh god.

this is pure sad

i'm 17 and i have no life.

like i rot in my room on weekends
without doing anything.

take me away from here. anywhere. i don't care

wth

AHAHA. just had this convo with my sister:

Marianne

hey mel!

12:37amMelissa

yo

12:38amMarianne

The merlion was struck by lightning

12:38amMelissa

seriously?

then how?

12:38amMarianne

dunno

12:38amMelissa

like is it destroyed or something?

12:38amMarianne

just heard from chinese teacher

dunno

i'll go check later

maddy says there's a hole in it

dunno

12:39amMelissa

ok

12:39amMarianne

I caught a black widow!

12:40amMelissa

me too

12:40amMarianne

congrats

maddy didn't

12:40amMelissa

HAHA

congrats to the 2 of us!

12:40amMarianne

and she is very sad that rui en didn't get nominated for star awards!

12:41amMelissa

sigh

Marianne

maddy saw what i wrote

LALA

there's nothing here maddy

:D

and in a seperate convo window...

Madeline

do not listen to marianne lim's crap

12:44amMelissa

why?

Madeline

cause she's such a crapper -.-

Marianne

yo mel listen to my crap

you can check the website if you want but RUI EN IS NOT NOMINATED!

HAHA

i miss the both of you

but seriously, how the heck does the half fish half lion thing survive not getting struck by lightning after so long???