i still believe not all good things have to come to an end

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day 'til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

not enough

claire's fb status:

"Let me tell you something about people like me. People like me feel lost and little and ugly and dispensable...It's like every morning I wake up and I fail. And I look around and everybody seems to be pulling up but somehow I can't. No matter how hard I try, somehow I'll never be enough."

- i am sam

unsuitable

"she looks pretty tonight", i casually remarked, all the while searching his red face for a reaction "always has been" was his only reply as his eyes followed her.

i think its damn ironic that i don't drink coffee and i'm a barista
and that i cannot take alcohol [literally, i don't have the enzyme to process alcohol] yet the industry that i'm in makes money in serving it.

HAHA. also the fact that i am the clumsiest person you'll ever meet does not help me at as a waitress.

porn

12.45 am, a few weeks back, 901 verve

*the conversation steers to the ultimate topic amongst guys: porn

f: (proudly) 'eh, me, a, b, c, d, and e* all use the same website. eh. good stuff.'
the whole room: WTF?!

i later asked d if he really used the website
d: 'aiyah.... why he go and tell you? i shy.'

*names changed so as to not get a good whacking from their girlfriends

apparently, watching porn and having a girlfriend are 2 completely seperate aspects of life and not at all related . like how eating and having a blanket are 2 seperate things.

HAHA. which reminds me

f, chen, ryan and i were at starbucks and f was telling us how when his ex-gf found out that he watched porn, she emo-ed for a whole week and refused to talk to him. the convo was particularly disturbing, apparently they forget i'm a girl. which brings me to my point.

f was observing all the girls at starbucks and was pointing out the hot/pretty ones
so being my usual nosy self,
i asked chen whether he thought i was pretty, average or below average.
my kor's response?
OK LAH.
i was like '...' my only kor and that's what he says. apparently, according to him his being my kor is the reason why he cannot judge. cause its too weird judging whether his sister is pretty. so i turned to ryan and before i could say anything he was like
don't ask me this kind of stuff.
haha. actually if they were to ask me to judge their looks i also wouldn't be able to answer them...

my very happening schedule
last week: linyeh, yokeyee & jasmine's combined birthday
wednesday: WORK
friday: perd's birthday at seven(no, not the time, the club)
saturday: amandayee's birthday at korean restaurant
monday: WORK
thursday: maelstrom (flare production)
and for the week after that, i'm working 5 days in a week, all shifts begining at 9.30am. KNSNBCCB. cause all of them don't end before 5pm. *long line of expletives* :D

wait. there's a moral to the porn story.
oh yeah
NEVER USE THE SAME PORN SITE AS YOUR HOUSEMATE BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL KNOW.

yay

i'm up!
at 7 am in the morning

because i haven't slept all night

sorting out my life...
just thinking. :)

celebrations

i've often wondered what a 10 year reunion would be like with the albert house people.
and in my imagination
i see everyone
maybe a few people aren't able to make it but i still see everyone
maybe we've aged a bit
maybe some couples aren't together anymore
maybe new couples have formed
but i still see everyone
laughing, joking.

and i expect to feel happy
but i'm not sure if i can handle the changes

yesterday was a reunion of some sorts.
junlin, jasmine, and yokeyee.
these three turned a year older
and we were all there
some couldn't make it but i still saw everyone
some couples had broken up
some had new relationshops
but i still saw everyone
laughing, joking

and i felt at peace
although changes had been made,
we were still gathered there

i learn.

forcing myself to sit down, i mumbled
"爱很... 辛苦".
he paused and looked at me,
"爱也是甜蜜".
unvoluntarily, a small sad smile crossed my face at his optimism and his strong belief in the topic. i replied slowly, not being so fluent in chinese and searching for the right words "是九十九巴仙痛苦的".

his answer was quick


"可是那一巴仙的甜蜜是值得的"

money- its a rich man's world

i received my paycheck notification in the mail yesterday, they directly credited it into my bank account. apparently, tuesday is their accounting day of the week.

i spent it on groceries...

bloody hell right?
i wish i got a nice piece of jewellery with it or a bag or something

but no, bills have to be paid and groceries have to be bought...

welcome to the real world.

mydad'smum

today i called my grandmother

she seemed ok
it seemed like it was a good day for her
she even told me she'll bring me out to eat if i came back for chinese new year '10

i was about to tell her that i found a placement for industry training

until she asked me where i was and whether i liked it here

for the 3rd time

and then me finding a job didn't seem so important anymore

so i told her: i ate nasi lemak, yup, a malay family sells it here grandma. yes, the rice quite lemak. i think almost as good as singapore's. yes, i will study hard grandma, when i build a hotel you can stay there for free. i'm in australia now grandma. melbourne, its nice here. you'll see me at chinese new year. yeah, ang pows! huh? you'll only give me $1.20? how about $2? yeah, you can start saving for the extra 80 cents! yes grandma, i'm in australia. melbourne. yeah, i like it here. thanks grandma. ok. yes i'll take care. you too. bye bye.

when & if she asks me who i am
i don't think i'll be able to take it then

i used to wear a tshirt that said
i want to be just like grandma when i grow up
and i meant it.
she was the coolest person i knew as a kid

so today, i'll make a promise
to call her every week
so that, hopefully,
she won't forget me.

day 6

day 6 of doing nothing

doing nothing does not go well with me

it is a thursday today
i used to like thursdays

we made fun of __'s blog today. and yesterday. and on saturday.
quite fun to go WTF is she doing?!

its ok. we didn't make fun of yours.

i saw this really pretty summer dress on f21's website.
i waaant.

i'm sorry if this is such a self-indulgent post.
the most frequent company i have nowadays are my thoughts.