30 August 2010

yay yay yay

IMMA HAPPY PERSON.

XD

in SG now, with highlighted hair(thank you mummy!) and a full tummy. :D

exams are over, and i went to melbourne to visit the elginians+frequent visitors. thank you guys so much for the food and esp to melody for letting me stay at verve! <3 you're a really good hostess & cook!

got alot of things to do in sg but i'm happy doing them
YAY

will most likely post a few photos after i come back from rome & london. :D

22 August 2010

so near yet so far

19 August 2010

disconnect

hurts like shit.

so fucking painful
for once
i want to allow myself

to be weak

to just let myself be human

and cry
and just be properly miserable
wallow in self pity and chocolate

but there's studying to be done
and exams to be taken

so.
i have to stay sane
and strong

18 August 2010

letting go

the most common grip kids have with their parents is that
they don't realise we're growing up

of course when a 10 year old says that mournfully to your face, the intial reaction is to supress a laugh then go on to kindly explain that parents need time.

but when a bunch of 20 years olds gather round a table and compete for the title of 'the one with the most smothering mother/strictest father' with increasingly funnier ancedotes, it gets you to wonder.

parents are our... well, parents. they mother you, they parent you, and certainly scold the crap out of you. but they have as much to learn as we do.

and the struggle is always that parents don't seem to realise we've grown up. They certainly expect the most out of you, they trust that you are big enough to do the small things on your own. they expect you to maintain your grades, to make your bed and do your laundry and survive. but when it comes to realising that the 20 year old kid is no longer that cute little thing that always depended on them, their brain shuts down.
like its the biggest denial they will ever trick themselves into.

but that's not my point.
my point is that for 20 years, we're essentially parasites, feeding off their bank accounts and destroying any chance they have at being cool. but somehow they love us even more. like stockholm's syndrome or something.
and suddenly within a span of a few months, they are expected to tell the kids to trot off and don't bother us.
its hard, we know. to allow us to do that is one thing, to believe that they should do that is another.
so in recognition of that, for allowing me to trot off to another continent and survive calling me once a week, thank you mum & dad.

thanks for allowing me to live my life.
thanks for letting me go and realising that i'm 19 years old and therefore should not be treated like a 9 year old.
thanks to dad for slipping me an extra $100 before i go off so that i have the cash to go buy supper.
thanks to mum for spoiling me like crap when i come back to sg
thanks for allowing me to make my own choices. even if you don't support it, you still say you do (i know mum's still secretly hoping that i'll go into commerce.)

so... mum, can my curfew be extended?
i've got to be the only 2nd year uni student with a 11 pm curfew in singapore.
come on...
please?

17 August 2010

ROYAL FLUSH

ONE OF MY LIFE GOALS IS COMPLETE!!!

i got a high royal flush ><

A, K, Q, J, 10 and in a heart suite :D

although it was during 3 person taidi (with Nat and Dan, trying to study for marketing) i'm still happy!

next goal: 2, A, K, Q, J. IN SPADES!!!

16 August 2010

inception

i just realised something about Inception

The scene when Ariadne & Arthur kissed.

quick give me a kiss
they're still looking
yeah, it was worth a shot

the double meaning behind 'it was worth a shot'. like the kiss as a distraction and to get ariadne interested ><

I LOVE FIGURING STUFF LIKE THIS OUT

university

You know how they try to advertise University as a place of vibrant learning, of meeting new people from different countries, of a place that accepts you as you are?

BULLSHIT.

it is a place that is interested in one thing, and one thing only
MONEY

they squeeze money out of domestic students & the government, while squeezing even more out of international students and donors. They do not care about your welfare unless you are protesting for it, which may hurt the reputation and therefore may hurt the $$$.

i just got informed by accounts that I am being charged $733 for a 2 day course in 'contemporary leadership'. WTF.
i wonder what they will teach us that THE PAST 3 COURSES OF VARIOUS 'LEADERSHIP' SHIT COULDN'T?!?!?!?!

bloody hell, i'm getting a headache thinking about it.

and the shit about meeting different people from different countries? how well can you know someone that doesn't speak english well? people in an unfamiliar situation will naturally cling on to what's familiar. eg overseas students in another country will naturally make friends with people from their country/speak the same language.

i have learnt cantonese and my mandarin has improved since i came to ozzie. in contrast, i still can't master the aussie way of saying G'day mate.

its not being racist. people will, by instinct, try to find familiarity in strange surroundings.

as for being a place that accepts your quirks.
yeah, right. people will still gossip and label you weird or a nerd or a blonde or something and that's the way its going to be for the rest of your life.

disillusioned much?

back to studying.

i love swotvac. so fun.

10 August 2010

soft boiled eggs

after my stomach rumbled for the fifth time in an hour, i gave up trying to resist.

all i have in my room is indomie, sweets, chocolate and 3 eggs.

but thankfully for me, my tastebuds were craving soft boiled eggs!

so i googled how to make those runny soft boiled eggs that is absolute <3
and apparently you just have to boil it for exactly 3 mins and dunk it in cold water after.

NOT SO SIMPLE.
its soft boiled egg alright but its different, the yolk is too raw for my liking and the egg white alternates between clumpy and transparent.

apparently in ya kun, they are kept in water at 70-ish degrees to cook.

the perfection...
anyway
i settled for some ice cream
can't go wrong with that.

09 August 2010

perks of hotels ^^

i absolutely love my friends who work in hotels

since i'm too lazy to get off my bum and find a job in a hotel,

i get the side perks

wenhao has brought me like 10 issues of newsweek & time. NICE NEW ONES :D

and bell got me a magazine(which had a review of tetsuya's!!!!) and let me look at the employee's rates at the hotel she works at :D
which is really kewl.

the other time i met johannes and kimmy, who were staying at the hotel johannes was working at. and we were waited on hand and foot at the lounge. free peanuts too :D

the interesting stories is what i'm in this industry for.

a few people had celebs staying at their hotels during their industry training.

according to james, m.c. hammer is really nice. which according to him, is really weird considering he has HUGE bodyguards and probably doesn't need to be nice. but he is. and that's always nice to know.

and a guest speaker told us about the time a celeb, *name shall be protected* , stayed there and asked for a really exotic type of sausage.
problem? it was 4 am in london.
ENTER: THE concierge(they are the bomb. the really good ones can get you anything. ANYTHING. anytime. seriously. our lecturer was telling us that they could probably get you tickets to a sold out concert. IF you're willing to pay)
anyway. the concierge had to call this butcher to open his shop.
which was halfway across london.
so the guest speaker had to drive there
come back
with the sausages
and ask the chef to cook it.

you would think huge tip like $100

nope. a 'thank you!' *closes door*

its amazing the stories that come. there's so many of them. i wish i could properly express them in some humorous witty way like matt preston or anthony bourdain's kitchen confidential

but i'm just a waitress who blogs.

07 August 2010

relief

I CAN FINALLY BREATHE.

assignments are mostly over! with the exception of marketing...

and final exams are about to start

it feels good :D

time to start cleaning up my room
and prepare for the final battle
><

GPA of 3.8 here i come

04 August 2010

sometimes.

sometimes,

when you need strength, you try to find it in various places
if taking a break and surfing the net doesn't help,

then there's talking to friends online. and if that doesn't work,
listen to music and zone out for awhile or a nap. but if you still can't

there's calling a friend. or a few. and just talk to them
but then you find yourself still worn out.

and then your best friends and family. they make you laugh for awhile, smile. wish you were home. and the thought of 20 more days till you're home!

but it seems today, no one gets you. your weariness.
and you look inside yourself and all you see is a well
of blackness. of darkness. an empty well. and you know you're nearly rock bottom.

you've been there before. and its so tempting to let yourself slide to that deep dark place, so easy. to just give up.

then there's nothing to do

but to fall to your knees
and turn to God. and seek solace in him.

and hopefully find in him what you've needed. strength. courage. a fighting chance
but when you've finished praying.
open your eyes. and stare at the four walls that surround you

you still miss what you've been trying so hard to ignore
and you know your source of strength is gone.

that realisation is just enough to push you over the edge,

down
down
down
that dark hole.