28 March 2009

live to learn, learn to live

hmm. i'm in the kitchen for the next 5 weeks. this week was our first.

my hands smell of onions
my hair smelt of pizza until i washed it 3 times
my rings constantly have to be taken off. and i still put them back on cause i feel weird without them
my 2 chefs jackets are stained a very festive red(tomato paste[pizza]) and green(avocado salad)

yet i still love working in the kitchens.
i've learnt a lot already, like cracking an egg with one hand (i can do 2 eggs at one time). and how to extract an avocado from its skin, seedless (KNS, the *bleep* thing is so *bleep* soft, damn difficult to keep in one piece.)

i really like learning this kind of stuff.
like how to carry 3 plates in 1 hand[i pawn!!!] and making coffee and stuff like that.

......................................................................................................

recently received an email from a friend.
call the person em

so. em was confused and asked a lot of questions.
1 in particular struck me:

"They say that it is the decisions we make which define who we really are. So does that mean that if I make selfish decisions, I’m a selfish person?"

i never really thought of myself as a particularly selfish person
i'll give up my time, sometimes money, and usually i do help out when asked

yet when i look at my recent major life decisions, i can't help but think that i'm a very selfish person. i leave family and friends just to pursue a future possible thing. all the excuses are gone, only the immense guilt of spending my parents money remains.

the only thing i have left to comfort myself is that they would want me to be happy... right?

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