emo post

like wow.

in icms when i tell people what i think of certain things, like proceedures or sex after marriage or how work comes before personal life, they'll shake their head and tell me i'll change my mind after i've experienced more of this world, or as i get older.

and then i think to myself that i've gone through what they can only imagine, that i've pretty much delt with life more than they have, although they're much older than me, be it the koreans, china-chinese, aussies. whatever nationality they are, they always assume i'm what i am on the surface, a childish crazy annoying kid who gives the bunny-peace sign with her fingers given half the chance and is fascinated by a lot of things, who likes being a kid and is still a kid who doesn't have to worry about much.

one side of me may be that but there's also the other side of me who has to deal with reality and the cards life has dealt me. maybe they aren't so bad as what other people have, i mean i still have a roof over my head and an overseas education but there's some things money can't buy or repair. it can't buy my parent's and grandparent's health back, it can't buy me my singaporean friends to sydney, it can't buy the time i've missed with my sisters, it can't buy me the albertians in melbourne, it can't buy bill from melbourne to sydney. it can't buy me so many things that i've missed out on.

my point being, people aren't what they are on the surface. and today was a reminder that people have gone through a lot, i met with a friend and she seems on the outside a typical nice, rich, sheltered kid. but today i found out a lot about her and i really admire her for being so strong.

so i will be strong, and i will make full use of my situation. of my family, friends, personal situations. i will be strong :)

whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks, i'll be right there waiting for you